- stick up for myself
- not count on others
- smile more
- get over you.
is already scaring the shit out of me.
my sister gets a chi straightener from her god parents and i get a $10 itunes giftcard from mine. I ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD TOO. cool
i just got asked the weirdest thing. anyways, i hate new yrs. my parents have a party and i always end up going out bc i hate them. its snowing thoughh and i was suppose to go to narragansett bc its sams birthday as well as new yrs so shes throwing a big bash at her house up there…and im not driving in this shit. also, like i said yesterday, i had plans with you (big bitch) butttt i’d rather sit home and do nothing than follow thru with them considering how much you’ve blown me off lately. but its cool cuz im not gona sit home and do nothing. ill be hanging out with some friends..idk exactly when but still. and i wanna skype someone cuz im sooo fucking bored. and COLBI STOLE SARAH FROM ME so now i can’t video chat with her. fml. its 3:48 and i haven’t eaten yet today and im also not even hungry. and you don’t wanna see me which makes me feel awesome. my resolution this year? to fall out of love with you. bye
im always up all night. who needs sleep? ill do enough of that when im dead. so oooomg you are the biggest bitch. you complain that we used to be so close and now we don’t really talk anymore so the past 2 days when I’ve tried asking you to hangout you never respond. then I run into you tonight and you don’t even make eye contact cuz you know how much of a shady fuck you are. you have no idea how shitty you make me feel. I’ve been nothing but nice to you since like 5th grade. get your head out of your boyfriends ass. and we’re suppose to hang out tonight (technically new years eve). HA well as of last week we had plans to. but fuck that. id rather sit home by myself doing nothing. im not hanging out with you at allllll. I don’t need ppl like you around me.even if I look desperate idc ill find something else to do. and when this phase is over in 3 days and you text me (the way it always happens) don’t be confused when you get no response. you might as well just not even attempt it. im done with you.
i didn’t realize you liked miley cyrus. everytime i scroll thru i see you post sooo many pictures of her and im in love with it. a;lskdfjlaskdjf;lasjf !!
are you guys still rooming together for the ski trip? if so, can i join? i don’t know anyoneee else whose going as of right now and its stressing me out.
we didn’t mean to. we were kinda just driving around. for maybe a total of 5 seconds a million thoughts/memories flashed through my head. just as quickly as they came, i was over it. i dont miss you. i was closer to you than i was with anybody in my whole entire life. you know things about me that no one ever will. i was sure by this point you would’ve blackmailed me..but you haven’t and i thank you for that. you were always there right when i needed you. you were the bestest friend i had. i wanted you to be the one stuck with me in a nursing home racing our walkers and scooters. as fucking lame as that is. but you know what? i am so glad we’re not friends anymore. you started to be the biggest son of a bitch i know. once you got a boyfriend you completelyyy blew me off. you stopped talking to me, ignored my calls, and completely shut me out for a while. then once u guys broke up 6 months later you realized how shitty you were and tried apologizing. but fuck youuuu. i never regret not talking to you. i decided to drop you from my life because i don’t need people like that. and you know what? i get treated a lot like that now with some of the friends i have..and i dont drop them. idk why. maybe because they’re all i got left. but thank you for opening my eyes and making me realize that sometimes life is just better without certain people. i would’ve done anything for you. but now i put all of that into someone else who i adore a MILLION TRILLION times more than i ever cared about you.
so yah. i thought about all that just from passing by your house. but heyy its your loss ALT. the ones ive got now are so much better. but i hope you’re doing good.
skype..i have one now. new webcammmm. i haven’t been on it yettt bc i only have like 3 people’s names. let me know if you have one! or i can vidchat on AIM and stuff. whatevvz
is getting extremelyyyy tense. its entertaining in a way though. soo today i slept till 1..haha. then i went to work till 730. after that i hung out with sam and katie. we saw bryan, geoff, liz, cody, and jameson at taco bell. bryan had heelies so he hung onto the side of my window and i drove him…except i drove right past a pole so he smacked into it :D i wasn’t actually gonna be a dick like that but he kept saying “you wont do it.” soooo i did it. he dropped like a fly. anyways, after that we hung out with some riv friends and went to Brians with him, Mat, and Corey and played UNO allll night. oooomg. it was so hardcore. im pretty sure it ended a couple of my friendships haha..not legit but still. i never won =[ i got third place on the last game lol thats the closest i got. then we did what we do best and im home. gahhh idk what to do new years eve. everyones sooo gay and there’s like no parties unless i wanna drive my ass to providence…which isn’t happening. that’s like asking to die on the way home. im devouring a bag of salt&vinegar chipssss and a bottle of orange soda. yayyy.
[Ten things you want to say to ten different people]
1. i wish things were different.
2. you are a piece of shit.
3. i love you, you made my night better
4. you own my heart. its rediculous. i kinda dont ever want you to give it back. but you’ll never know how i feel..so it’d probably be best if you do. do something to make me hate you, please.
5. haaa we’re both getting so confused by how another certain person is acting and why she’s being such a bitch. whatever. it’s probably one of her phases. she’ll get over it.
6. i don’t even really know you. but hey, you make me happy.
7. i don’t think you’re a nice person at all. karma will get you. i promise
8. we don’t really ever talk..but i follow you on this. and i see a lot of what you have to say. i wanna be your friend.
9. you’re the only person that keeps me sane in this family. i miss you already.
10. can we go back to kindergarten?
[NINE things about yourself]
1. i play my guitar more than the average person and write songs.
2. i always wear the hood on my sweatshirts.
3. i need to stop being so depressed
4. i envy to be demi lovato’s best friend.
5. i wish more people cared about me.
6. i work at sakonnet bay manor
7. i sit at my computer into all hours of the night
8. i enjoy reading.
9. i would give my life for one person.
[EIGHT ways to win your heart]
1. put up with me
2. get along with my family.
3. take me to dinner quite often
4. lay outside and look at the stars with me
5. go on pointless drives with me..just to talk
6. sleep with me..and be okay with just sleeping.
7. constantly reassure me that there’s no one else.
8. know your limits.
[SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot]
1. how you feel
2. what you’re doing
3. if i got a text message.
4. a way to see you
6. demi lovato.
7. my future.
[SIX things you couldn’t live without]
4. hopes that everything will turn out okay.
5. my bed
6. kate karzenski.
[FIVE things you dislike ]
2. the way im treated lately.
3. the jonas brothers.
4. waking up early
[FOUR things you Like]
1. best friends.
3. demi lovato.
4. grey’s anatomy.
[THREE words that describe your life]
[TWO things you want to do before you die]
1. be with you
2. be best friends with demi
1. this is literally tearing me apart. i can’t go on feeling like this anymore.
how people can just act so cruel, and uncaring. i doubt you have any idea what you’re doing to me. what you’re ALL doing to me. &i don’t expect you to. except for the fact that i’m getting so fed up with it. so fed up with the way im treated and how people think its cool to walk all over me and act like complete douchebags bc its okayy im too nice to say anything. you know what? you’re exactly right, i am. i sit back and say “nooo its coool i understand” when you blow me off but really NO I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND. what have i done that constitutes you acting like a complete fucking bitch? and i wish by saying “you” i wasn’t referring to about 25 ppl like i am. i am so sick of this place. you have no idea how badly i want to escape. you all have your heads up your asses or EACHOTHERS asses. i believe in karma. i believe if i brush it off and turn the other cheek you’ll eventually get what you deserve. i want new people in this town. i wanna feel like i have a purpose and matter. i could disappear and everyone’s life would move on like nothing even happened. im sick of everything. im sick of this feeling and being so depressed because people are suchhh fucking careless morons. tell me i need help, tell me im crazy, tell me what i need is to calm down. and ill tell you what i need is to get the fuck out of here.
so we’ve decided friends is the final verdict. there’s no turning back now. this relationship is never gonna work. all we worry about now is what kind of mood the other one’s in and how to not piss eachother off. that’s not the way things should be. yeahhh it sucks but.. hey whatever. at least now i think we’re at the point where we actually CAN be friends…and not just say it then hate eachother. we’ll see.
on another note, i just saw a picture of you and like usual i think you’re beautiful.